Just as Uncle Ruckus recognized the unprecedented level of ignorance possessing his friend Tom in this episode of “Boondocks”, I too, came face to face with an unnatural phenomena on my Facebook timeline. Pictured on the left is the meme that was posted by someone I know. He posed the question “Why do we do it?…Ladies, how do you really feel about it?” in regards to unprotected sex between partners. Intrigued, I clicked on the picture and had my mind blown by the responses, not pictured, to the question posed.
There is so much here that I am almost lost on where to start. We will begin our analysis of this phenomenon on a broad scale and work our way into the specifics.
First, let’s define a group of assumptions that can be made from the picture and question.
1) We can assume that the most common reason a female partner would ask her male partner not to “nut” inside of her is because she is not on any form of birth control and would not like to get pregnant.
2) We can assume that the male partner is also not using any form of birth control because the female partner specifically asked her male partner not to “nut” in her. If the male partner was using a form of birth control, then there would be no fear in the exchange of seminal fluids among them.
3) We can assume that there is a significantly considerable consequence for not adhering to the female partner’s request.
4) We can assume that this phenomenon occurs frequently enough, among a certain population, for the question to be posed innocuously and as debatable.
My analysis begins thusly:
I can not believe that this phenomenon occurs frequently enough, among a certain population, for this question to even remotely be posed as debatable. Who does this shit? The fact that this question was posed at all has caused me to question my association with the poster. The poster is an American black male, over the age of 30. I know because he and I went to high school together. On some level, I do understand this question because I participated in this type of behavior when I was younger. This type of behavior resulted in my six-year-old daughter. But that was when I was younger. It blows my mind that a peer of mine, in my age group, in this day and time, still behaves in this manner. In thinking rationally, I know that he is far from alone.
I do sympathize with the desire to participate in “raw sex”. The common consensus among any sexually active population is that raw sex feels much better than sex with condoms. It just is what it is. However, at a certain age, maturity provides us with the ability to reasonably weigh our consequences for participating in such an act. Actually, maturity should provide us the ability to reasonably weigh our consequences. In the provided example, it is obvious that maturity either does not exist or ignorance outweighs reason. The easily avoidable consequence in this phenomena is procreation, indicated by the request of the female partner for the male partner not to nut in her.
Yet, the female and male partner, fully aware of the possibility of procreation, are still willing to participate in sex; considerably increasing the likelihood that the very thing they are both trying to avoid, will in fact occur. I’d compare it to Russian roulette, except that 4 of the 6 chambers are loaded instead of the usual 1 of 6. The odds are stacked against you. Ignorance is defined as the lack of knowledge or information. In this phenomena, as previously mentioned, both partners are fully aware of the eventual consequence in participating in this behavior. So, to say that the occurrence of this phenomena is ignorant would be a misnomer. Stupidity is defined as behavior that shows a lack of good sense or judgment.
THIS IS STUPID.
Stupidity is forgivable because we are human. We are guided not only by reason but also by our emotions. However, to continuously act stupidly, in such a way that it has become routine, allowing for the mind to formulate and pose a question that seems innocuous enough to post publicly, is disastrous and deserves to be ridiculed.
This phenomenon has granted me a new understanding of a problem that plagues the black community. As a people, we are infamous for creating fatherless homes. Somewhere in the progression of our culture, this specific phenomenon has been deemed as acceptable. The first step to changing it is to acknowledge it. I am a part of this phenomena. I acknowledge that I participated in reckless sexual behavior resulting in procreation. If I could take it back, I would. My experience caused me to change my thought process in regards to my sexual behavior. The question at hand now, though, is how do we change the thought process of an entire culture of people?
I recall a time in college before I’d changed my sexual behavior. I rented a hotel room to have sex with a woman that I’d been trying to bag for a while. In my haste to get in her pants, I’d forgotten condoms. I remember being on top of her, her legs spread wide. Her womanhood wet and ready to receive me. My manhood hard and eager to dive in. At that moment my better mind thought it good to mention to her
“Hey uhhhhh, I didn’t bring any condoms”
She looked up at me and said playfully
“You better not come in me Freshley or I’m going to punch you”
and we fucked the night away. I also remember the feeling of regret the next morning and the dreadful constant gray cloud of possibility in the weeks to come. As an adult, I could not imagine willingly walking into this scenario. Since then I have walked away from many a wet pussy beckoning for my manhood to enter because of lack of preparation. I just can’t do it and I hope the same for all those that I choose to associate myself with.
To My Friend That Posted This Picture:
You probably feel insulted, understandably. But, if we are going to continue to be friends this behavior has to stop or at least stop posting about it. We are better than this. As a true friend, I hold you to a higher standard of living and expectations. If we can not agree here, I understand. But our friendship stops here.
To My Readers:
If you participate in such behavior I beseech thee to pause and reconsider. I am fully aware and acknowledge that this very article is the reason that I have a problem keeping friends. However, it is a consequence that I have accepted. I am also fully aware that I did not mention sexually transmitted diseases or infections in this article. Sexually transmitted diseases and infections were not the focus of the posters inquiry. I have given him the benefit of the doubt that he and his partner get tested regularly.
In closing, this should not happen period. But when it does happen, and continues to happen to a specific culture and subset of said culture…
© Stephen R. Freshley and wordbending, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner are strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Stephen R. Freshley and Word Bending a secret but not so secret blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.