How To Get Laid on the First Date: Closing The Deal

black-couple-bed1This article is a continuation of another article entitled “How to Get Laid on the First Date”.

Unfortunately, the art of “closing the deal” is not an exact science. Once someone is past your door it is a high stakes, every moment counts situation. If you followed the previous article “How to Get Laid on the First Date” then you have already stacked the deck in your favor. The fact that someone has come home with you, or has let you come into their home after the first date means they are interested, so the hard part is done. The key is not undoing the work that you have already done. You can accomplish this by doing three things:

1) Have a plan

2) Make sure your date is comfortable

3) Shut the Fuck Up

Let’s explore these things a little further.

 Have a Plan

Now obviously when the date ends at your house or theirs, you are not going to just close the door behind you all and have at it. Unless you are really drunk or you already closed the deal during the date. That kind of stuff only happens in movies or with couples that have long standing relationships. You have to have something to do up until the sex. I have found that the best method here is to give your date a tour of your house, sit in the living room, play music and chat; continuing the conversation from the date. I have a special playlist just for the occasion that starts with up tempo music and works it’s way slowly into baby maker music. I suggest you do the same. Subtly is key. As a back up I have a tablet, video games, television, and a netflix movie in mind already. Board games are a great time filler. They encourage conversation and occupy your hands. Now of course you don’t want to play something like WAR, or Monopoly. You need something that is easy and mostly mindless like Jenga, Mancala, Checkers, or Operation. I would say that Jenga is your best bet because it is easy to fake letting your date win.

At this stage of the date initiating contact is your goal. No matter what shape, form, or fashion that contact comes in. If your date has on jewelry, compliment it while touching it. Ear rings are the easiest to make this happen. When you reach to touch the dates earring, start from the top of their ear and move your finger all the way down, ending where their neck meets their shoulders. By doing this you have broken the touch barrier and made the first move. The same idea can be accomplished with any body jewelry. Whatever it is, where ever it is, touch skin first then the jewelry. The last time I was on a first date that ended at my house I put my arm around the young lady while we were watching a television show. About 30 minutes later she decided to tell me that she was ready by touching my hand that was on her shoulder and placing it on her breast.

Patience is also important. Moving too fast can kill the vibe. Be flexible. If you can see your date waning then politely end the date by offering to escort them to their car or take them home. Never end the date awkwardly, because you will probably never get another.

Make Sure Your Date is Comfortable

There are typically three universal components to comfort. They are temperature, cleanliness, and ease. The temperature of the your house is easily fixable. All it takes is a simple question. “Is the temperature of the room okay?”. Here is the kicker though. It is best to make your place just a tinge colder than comfortable. You do this because we associate cleanliness with cold. Have you ever noticed that it is always just below comfortable in a hospital? That is because the cool air helps keep infection from spreading. Warm muggy air creates the environment for bacteria to grow. In addition, no one wants to feel hot. Heat makes people feel sticky and stinky, which decreases the chance that your date will readily take their clothes off. Heat also carries smell faster that cooler air.

I don’t know how many times I tell my friends that cleanliness is key when trying to get the booty. Make sure your bathroom is spotless. A date that is afraid to use your bathroom is not going to take their clothes off point blank period. It has to be spotless. The same sentiment goes for your house. The cleaner, the better; with the exception of something that you have purposefully left out of place to give the appearance that it was not your intention to get your date back to your place. When your house is clean, it gives your date the impression that you are generally clean about everything, to include your body. Which in turn makes your date more comfortable with the idea of sleeping with you after only one date.

Ease is all about pre-planning. Ease is simply anything that is affecting the immediate environment, from appearance to furniture. A clean house is easy on the eyes, therefore less to think about. Fluffy furniture is easy on the body. If your date is thirsty, make sure that you can get them a drink with ease. EAAAASSSSSSE. Ease is the root word for easy. Everythioldlincolnhillsfloorplanng should be easy in your house. The atmosphere should exuded ease. In my “hay day” I’d configured a sure fire plan all based on ease. If a women came back to my house, we were going to have sex period. Here is how I did it. At the time I had a one bedroom apartment that was about 750 to 800 square feet in Marietta, GA. The apartment was on the first floor in the front of the apartment complex, making it very easy to get to, find, and leave. The living room was to the immediate right when you first walked in and the bedroom was behind it. A picture of the floor plan is to the right. I should also mention that at the time I have a gigantic Italian made King sized sleigh bed. I knew that the bed was my hook. So instead of concentrating on getting women into the bedroom, I brought the bedroom to them. I made my living room into my bedroom so that the first thing women saw when they walked into my house was this gigantic, comfortable looking, king sized bed. Can you guess what every woman wanted to do when they saw it? Yep, jump in it. My work was done for me. Every single time, less than a minute of being at my house my date was in my bed. It does not get any easier than that. Of course some women would proceed to the living room, which was actually the bedroom, but they would have to pass that big comfy bed on the way out of the door and none of them ever made it. It just looked too comfortable. Why drive all the way home when you could lay up in this big bed? Unfortunately, this configuration also worked on my male friends. I used to have to tell them to get the hell out of my bed when they came to the house.

Shut the Fuck Up

I emphasized this point a lot in the last article, so this time around I want to go a little more in depth. Shutting the fuck up does not mean be silent. It means do not talk too much, or say something dumb. Keep the focus on your date. Anything, I mean anything, can throw off someone’s groove. Talking about past relationships past your/their door is a no-no, unless they are the ones doing the talking. In this case you want to conceal and deflect. If they ask you about your past specifically, speak on it briefly and then ask for their opinion on the subject, but keep the specifics to a minimum. Keep all conversations brief.

Body language is your best friend. Make sure you are comfortable and at ease. Make as much direct eye contact as possible. Don’t speak on what your intentions are, show them. Be flirty through your body. While you have direct eye contact lick your lips, or rub your knee. I have no idea why rubbing your own knee works, but it does. Just go with it.

No one wants to appear promiscuous, so your date will not come right out and say that they are ready to have sex . Shutting the fuck up affords you the  opportunity to listen for “the” key phrase. The key phrase can come in any form or fashion, but it will be an invitation of some sort. Some examples of key phrases are:

“We both did a good amount of drinking, are you sure you will make it home okay?”

“Is there anything that I can do to make you more comfortable”

“I really enjoyed myself, I wish this night would never end”

“This bra is killing me…” [if your date says something like this, offer them some sweats and a t-shirt to change into]

“What time do you have to get up in the morning?”

If the date has ended at your house, when the opportunity arises, it is your duty to extend an invitation by using a key phrase like the ones previously listed.  Ideally, the right moment to extended an invitation would be when the conversation or time filler has ended naturally.

Executing a plan, making your date comfortable, and shutting the fuck up should happen simultaneously, not in steps. If you followed these guidelines you should get the green light. I don’t know what to say after that. You are having sex, you have won…

© Stephen R. Freshley and wordbending, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of thismaterial without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Stephen R. Freshley and Word Bending a secret but not so secret blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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