Girl number…

Like all things that I am angered by, in this too I shall indulge my anger and then let go of it. I met a woman today while eating at IHOP. She worked there actually; and through chance we struck up a brief conversation as she was getting off shift and she gave me her number. Seemed like a win for me. Shortly afterward I text her to give her my number and we struck up a conversation through text. The conversation went like this:

Me: Hey, its Stephen. Just giving you the digits. I just got off work myself so I’m about to go to sleep. In the mean time check out my website it will tell you a lot about me and give us something to talk about when we meet up again ; ) 7:33 AM
Shante: Ok, will do. Lookin forward 2 hanging out wit u! : D 7:35 AM
Me: Me too. I like a lot of questions. 7:56 AM
Me: 7:56 AM
Shante: U like 2 ask alot of questions or b asked alot of questions? 7:58 AM
Me: Both. 7:58 AM
Shante: Ok. So how old r u? 8:01 AM
Me: 27 and a half LOL and you? 8:04 AM
Shante: 26. I’ll b 27 n July. 8:05 AM
Me: Oh really…my bday is July 21st. And yours? 8:06 AM
Shante: July 2nd 8:06 AM
Me: Cool. Are you originally from NC? 8:07 AM
Shante: Yea. Born and raised! 8:08 AM
Me: I’m from Atlanta. 8:09 AM
Shante: Ok. How long u been n N.C.? 8:10 AM
Me: 2 years. What do you do outside of ihop? For fun? Hobbies? Interest? 8:12 AM
Shante: Not 2 much. I usually sleep on my days off. But im pretty adventurous, i’ll try anything once. 8:17 AM
Me: Cool. Well I’m going to sleep. I will hit you up when I wake up. 9:03 AM
Shante: Ok 9:04 AM
Me: What time do you go to work? I have to do a food run for my office later and I don’t want to go to Sams alone. It would be a good opportunity for is to chat and get to know each other if you wanna come. 9:06 AM
Shante: It would b my pleasure! What time? I go 2 work at 10. 9:09 AM
Me: Cool I usually wake up around 2 so 230ish. 9:09 AM
Shante: Ok. Jus call or txt me when u gt up. 9:12 AM
Me: Will do. 9:13 AM
Me: I’m up. Getting ready. 1:23 PM
Me: What happened? 6:33 P

I haven’t heard from her since. Usually I wouldn’t be phased by stuff like this, however this similar scenario has been happening to me for about a year now and I can not, for the life of me, figure out what the fuck I am doing wrong. Prior to this there was a woman I met at a charity ball I attended. Same thing happened, conversation was good, attraction was there, left her my business card and haven’t heard anything from her since. Prior to that was Adrienne, a woman I met while doing some community service at the 2nd Harvest food bank. She even took one of my poetry books home…nothing. The list goes on. I feel the same way that I did in grade school, like the little outcast kid. The common denominator in all the most recent rejections is this website. I tell them to check it out. I have nothing to hide. Is this website too much of an introduction? Is the site scarring women away?  My guess is yes, but the thing about it is  that the things I have posted here are things that woman would find out about me eventually anyway. I’m just putting it all up front; and I like doing so because they know exactly what they are dealing with right away. That is how I would like it. I don’t know. I’m so confused when it comes to woman. There are a few woman that I know that love my dirty draws and can’t get enough of me. They send me praise and adoration on a regular basis. They tell me how “fine” I am, how good “the dick” is/was, how and what they would do to me if I was in their area and so on. On the opposite end of the spectrum you have situations like this. Am I ugly or am I good looking? Am I a cool person or am I a jerk? Am I a good catch or am I scrapple?  I’d just like a definite answer so I can know what to expect. If I am on the down side of things and can expect regular and frequent rejection then I can live with that. But these dualities and fluctuations…ugh. I want answers dammit! Why does this keep happening to me? I’m done…

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