It has recently come to my attention that some ladies, and maybe some guys [I wouldn’t know], do not know how to be safe on a first date. I went out with a young lady [younger than I will ever admit she was legal though] and during the date, she mentioned that the first thing her father told her about going away to college was to be safe. So, I asked her was she obeying her father’s request, she said yes. Here is where our back and forth became interesting. I asked her how was she being safe and she had no valid response. I began to rattle off a laundry list of what I thought were common sense practices for first dates. When I was done she was frightened and ready to leave; understandably. She had never heard of and had not done any of the things I mentioned. I couldn’t help but laugh. I think that if the shoe was on the other foot I would have been a little creeped out myself. But I digress; here a few tips for being safe when going on a date with someone you have not previously known:
- The internet is your friend…
There is nothing wrong with Google-ing your date. A lot of times you will find out some interesting things about your date, good or bad. Google also finds most people’s Facebook and Twitter pages. A person’s Facebook and Twitter page tells a lot about them. If they have a lot of drama or randomness on their news feed then chances are they are that way in real life. Another good thing to look for on people’s pages is drug habits; we will go into why when we cover transportation.
Best Practice: Google your date…because they might “Google” you!
It’s best to put the most information out in the open as early as possible. Where are you going? How much do they usually charge? What are the plans for after the date? For women, the best practice is to ask your date if you all are paying separate or is he paying for everything. I, the man, try to bring up the subject or ask the question; however, no matter how you phrase it, it usually comes off as un-tasteful or tactless. Ladies if your date is going to foot the entire bill for the night, do your best to save them as much money as possible. When and if you order expensive things off of the menu or run up the tab at any establishment knowing that your date is picking up the tab, the date usually takes this as a sign that you are comfortable with them and your date is going to expect to get “comfortable” with you afterward. Going “cheap” or “Dutch” is also a good practice because it is just nice and considerate. You never know what a person’s financial situation is and you running up the tab may cause them some form of financial hardship. Also, be open and upfront about your boundaries. If you have quirks like “no kissing on the first date” or you have personal space issues let your date know before you all go out.
Best Practice: Go Dutch if you plan on keeping your panties on.
- “Piece” be still…
Bring some form of protection, mace, stun gun, baton, pistol…something. Crazy people are really good at not being crazy until you get comfortable or are in a compromising situation. In the event that you are not able to call for help or receive assistance from some bystander, you need to be able to protect yourself. Nothing more nothing less; no excuses. Also, regardless of if your date has opted to ante up for the entire night, you should bring enough money to cover your own expenses. Never run up a tab that you can’t cover yourself in the event that your date has “forgotten their wallet”. This way, your date will be the only one washing dishes [Ha!].
Best Practice: Brace yo self fool!!!
- Transportation Guidelines…
If at all possible on the first few dates drive yourself to wherever you and your date are meeting or have someone on standby that can pick you up. I have heard many stories from friends that have left their dates high and dry at a restaurant or establishment because of something their date did or said. I have also heard stories of people getting arrested on the way to, during, or right after a date. Getting your own ride to the first few dates is always a good practice because you never know what people have on their person. It’s not like you are going to frisk your date before you go out. If your date gets pulled over, you want to be able to detach yourself from the situation as much as possible. Most often cops arrest all parties in the presence of narcotics, illegal substances and drug paraphernalia.
If you have to ride with your date, catch a peak of their license plate number and text it to a friend or at least know where you are going and what make, model, and the color car you are in. Always have situational awareness. At the first sign of trouble text or call someone and let them know where you are.
Best Practice: Have a way out just in case the date goes south.
These guidelines and practices are the essentials to first date safety. If you feel like you should be any more cautious then the guidelines I have provided then there exist one of two possible scenarios:
- You are a paranoid schizophrenic and should be put back into your padded cell immediately. Being too guarded can cause a date to go south fast. Be open and honest. People pick up very easily on over protectiveness and loose interest quickly. Remember a first date is also the first impression. Do you want your date to think you are that way all the time?
- You should not be going on a date with this person anyway. If you like a person but they seem shifty or they make your nervous, there is a reason for that. Go with your gut and call it off. Your first mind is usually right.
Happy dating and be safe.
© Stephen R. Freshley and wordbending, 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Stephen R. Freshley and Word Bending a secret but not so secret blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.