I have been telling myself that I would start a blog for some time now. Today is the day I guess. At 5:58am on a Monday that I have elected to use leave, I am still awake as if I am going to work. *Sigh* To be 100% honest, this [my blog] has it’s genesis in something way deeper. I feel like taking you down the deep dark rabbit hole that is my psyche should be a great way to start off something that I really don’t believe many people are going to read, or even know exist. Let us begin…
I have an obsession with death. I don’t want to die, nor do I want to kill myself. However I do feel that death is imminent. And I think my death is a little more imminent then everyone elses around me. [*Pause*- Is else’s not a word? Every time I type it, the little red squiggly lines appear. WTH? I could have sworn it was a word.] I have an acute obsession with leaving my mark on the world. I don’t think I will ever be famous or receive recognition in my own time but I do believe that someday in the distant future, some random kid or professor or college student is going to run across something I have left behind like a book “Maktoob” or “word bending…“,
or a painting
or read an article that I have written
or run across my antiquated relic of a Facebook page [if Facebook is even still around then] and begin an obsession that will lead to me being recognized as an interesting and great writer.
I have been in constant conflict with all of my close friends for about a year now. Each of them taking turns disowning me, either because of something that I have said or because of something that I have said on Facebook. No one understands why I feel I have the constant need to let everyone know, every little detail of my life, all of the time. Well it’s very hard explaining to the ones you love that you think you are going to die sometime in the near future and you want to make sure that you leave a legacy.[ Hmmm… that wasn’t so hard saying here. But I know in person there would be a million follow up questions to that statement. ] I have finally come to the conclusion that the only way to keep my friends and indulge in my [probably insane] obsession is to create a blog…that no one knows exist. That way I can say what I want to say, post what I want to post, promote whatever I want to promote, etc and not offend anyone. Naturally, at some point I will not be able to resist and tell somebody about my blog, but hopefully I will be a few entries in at that point. If too many people find out about it then I inherit the same problem that I have on my FB page and the blog becomes ineffective, and probably edited. For now though I like this space. I feel free
© Stephen R. Freshley and wordbending, 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Stephen R. Freshley and Word Bending a secret but not so secret blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.